How do I start writing? Again.
Have you ever feel suffocated by writing that does not appeal to it? What to do when blogging seems to like a chore instead of giving you happiness?
For the last several years, I had just one goal. To make money from writing and blogging.
And I did it. I am earning good money to pay my bills. But all of a sudden, it was feeling like suffocation.
All the writing I was doing for my clients started to feel like mechanical. I was paid for the writing but something was missing. I was not satisfied with what I was writing.
And my blogs? I worked hard to make my blogs sustainable by themselves. But writing posts, creating images, promoting on social media, checking SEO, doing email marketing, pinning and to keep up with all-time glitchy Pinterest algorithms was becoming too much to handle.
My blogs are doing great. I am quite savvy with SEO and even if I do not pay attention to social media promotion, my blogs get good traffic.
But something was missing. Although all the freelance writing and blogging was earning for me, I was restless. It was feeling like I am not doing something right.
I stopped enjoying writing. And, I decided to take a break. My brother was getting married and it was the perfect excuse to immerse myself in wedding preparation.
And that’s where I was wrong.
The one month break eventually resulted in procrastination. I started dreading going back to my writing desk.
Two months passed and I could not bring myself to write a word. I spent all the time netflixing, reading and scrolling down Instagram and Facebook.
I am amused by the fact that I was the same person who will work her butt off to grow her blog and get some more clients. And here I was not taking any client, writing assignments or posting on the blogs.
Frustrated, I forced myself in front of the laptop only to find me staring at the screen with vacant eyes.
It was a nightmare. I do not have words to describe that feeling. It was like I am sitting beside the ocean but there is not a single drop of water to drink.
As August came, I was determined that I will start writing. I decided that I will not destroy everything that I built over the years. And even if it means no money and taking some steps back.
I audited myself and all the pending works. I was due to send 3 articles and one textbook.
I wrote the articles and started finishing my book. Luckily I am a co-author and I have all the support from my co-author in this regard.
I had tonnes of newsletter subscription which seems like a chore to check them at one point of time. I started unsubscribing from everything that I do not enjoy reading. At the end of the day, I have only 5 email subscriptions (2 of them are paid).
I left most of my Facebook groups where I was added without permission or interacted more than 6 months ago.
I uninstalled Instagram. I cut down my Facebook time. I am an admin in 2 groups and I started going directly to the group twice a day to check instead of scrolling my timeline. (Trust me, it was so liberating!)
I also started cutting my blogging budget. I had 2 paid social media scheduler for Instagram and Pinterest. As I lost my interest in promoting my blogs, I cut them out. I also had membership accounts that I visited more than 6 months ago. I opted out of everything.
August was so liberating when I cut all the noises. I started unlearning everything I learned in my blogging journey.
I stopped in collaboration with companies. I stopped obsessing over my pageviews and number of traffics. I decided that I will stop collecting emails for my email list for a while.
All of these meant that I lost my money.
But I was happy. I asked my clients to clear my pending invoices so that I can have enough money for the next two months.
And like a miracle, after cutting all the noises, all the pressure to write for the sake of writing, I am itching to write.
But how do I write? I want to stay away from blogging for a little longer. And most important, I want to write just because I love to write. I do not want to confine myself in my niches.
I want to feel liberated. I want to write without the pressure of SEO and social media.
I want to write just because I have so many stories to share.
How do I write? Again.
Starting from today, I want to write everything that comes to my mind on Medium, even if it is just 100 words.
I want to come out of comfort zone and try writing about my insecurities, my struggles as a mother, my life in a remote part in India, my culture, my food, my beliefs and myself.
I want to go back to the day when writing was almost like a meditation.
How do I write? Again.